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Caden Brute/Transcript
(Barb is seen tending to flowers in a patch of grass in the forest. A bush starts shaking and Caden pops out.) Barb: Caden! Oh my goodness, there you are! We've been looking all over for you. (Caden grumbles something, looking deranged) Barb: ...Caden? (Caden takes a bite out of Barb's flowers and runs away.) Barb: What the heck was that? What's up with Caden? (The next day, Barb is telling the other heirs of Caden.) Barb: ...and then he bit my flowers and ran away. Spinfox: Sounds like something I wouldn't want to see in my bedroom. Q: That's an understatement. Matteo: Guys, relax, Caden's been lost in the woods for so long that he's just trying to get back into his domesticated lifestyle. Leave him be, and he'll be back in no time. I'm frankly surprised- (Caden zooms past the heirs.) Matteo: Hold up, I'll be right back. (runs away) Spinfox: See the coward run away? Matteo: I got this! William: What is that, a portal gun? Matteo: What? No! Copyright would never allow it! It's a system used to hack- Q, sit down. (Q bows his head in sadness) Matteo: ...as I was saying, he'll want to take it, hack it, and then- (Caden stops, slaps the device out of Matteo's hands, and runs away again.) Matteo: Jesus, why do I keep getting interrupted? Spinfox: (snickering) I guess you could say, he...he... Q: Spinfox, don't. Spinfox: I don't even have a joke in mind I just thought I'd think of one. Q: Oh. William: ...I guess you could say he's Caden Brute! Spinfox: DANG IT Intro card Barb: Guys, where did Caden go? Spinfox: I wasn't paying attention. Matteo: Spinfox, you wouldn't pay attention to a penny, even if you could afford one. William: He went to the city, I think. Q: Let's go! (Die For The Government starts) Caden: ♪ You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country ♪ Chorus: ♪ You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country ♪ Caden: ♪ There's a Gulf War vet, dying a slow, cold death And the government says, "We don't know the source of his sickness" But don't believe what they say, because your government is lying They've done it before and don't you know they'll do it again A secret test, government built virus "Subject Test Group: Gulf Battle Field Troops" ♪ Chrous: ♪ You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country ♪ Caden: ♪ First World War veterans slaughtered, by General Eisenhower You give 'em your life, they give ya a stab in the back Radiation, agent orange, tested on US souls Guinea pigs for Western corporations I never have, I never will Pledge allegiance to their flag You're getting used, you'll end up dead ♪ Chorus: ♪ You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country ♪ Caden: ♪ I don't need you to tell me what to do And I don't need you to tell me what to be I don't need you to tell me what to say And I don't need you to tell me what to think What to think What to think, what to think, what to think, think, think, think ♪ Chorus: ♪ Die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country You've gotta die, gotta die, gotta die for your government Die for your country ♪ (Die For The Government ends) Citizen: I never thought I'd say this, but that stick figure is right! Citizen 2: In fact, I call a RIOT! (A riot begins) Q: What has Caden done? The town is total chaos! Discord: Oh, I know! (The heirs look at Discord, who is sitting in a recliner chair and eating popcorn while watching) Discord: Of course, I had nothing to do with this, but Caden looks so much better this way! (continues eating popcorn) Spinfox: We should go! Matteo: You mean, we will- Barb: Let's go! (pulls Matteo and the others to HannelSam's house) William: HANNELSAM! HELP US! HannelSam: (groans) What did you do this time? William: What? No! It's Caden. He's gone rogue! HannelSam: I see. Luckily, I've educated myself in these matters. Spinfox: Uh, why? Heirs: Shut up, Spinfox. HannelSam: There's a small patch of land between rural Peppatown and Qralo. If you go there, you will find a door. Go through that door and speak to Danner212. If you're lucky, he'll restore the memories of any person you choose. Barb: But what if we're not lucky? Spinfox: Don't click "I'm Feeling Lucky" then. Heirs: Shut up, Spinfox. HannelSam: Just go look for the patch of land before the hellfire reaches Peppia. (The heirs leave HannelSam and bump into the Futuristic Car Guy.) FCG: Ah, hello! Do you have my car? Q: Yeah, we parked it in your garage. FCG: I don't have a garage. Q: (nervously) Well you have one now. Spinfox: Say, does your dog smoke? FCG: What? No! Matteo: (in the background) That's the third time today I've heard somebody say that. Spinfox: Then I think your apartments on fire. FCG: AAH! (runs) William: Okay, let's go. Category:Fanon Category:PA:NG Category:Transcripts Category:PA